THESAP'S BELIEFS ... NOW AVAILABLE FREEZE DRIED!

Like the great Johnny Appleseed, I will soon be sprinkling my Cultic teachings across the west coast. I am going to Washington. Washington state that is, to promote the best movie ever made by a Cult leader. I am of course speaking of The Outdoorsmen: Blood, Sweat, & Beers ... pre-order your copy today.

Since my Cultly musings and beliefs are so vast and, dare I say girthy, I am having my beliefs freeze dried and duplicated in mass quantities. I have cleared it with the airlines to then have my beliefs pulverized into a fine sand-like consistency which will be jettisoned along the flight path of the 747 that will be carrying yours truly over Cali, Oregon and the great Washington state. I know that most of the population would be bubbling with an overflow of joy at the mere notion of me spitting on them, much less having the sandy residue of my beliefs drizzled on them from above, which means this will be like a wet dream come true for the entire world.

You may purchase a freeze dried pulverized bag of my beliefs directly by dialing 1-900-SAP-DRIZ. My beliefs are retailed at $89.00 US per ounce, but if you tell them you're a flock member you only pay $69.00 US per ounce. Obviously the price drop is based in my enjoyment of all things juvenile, including the number 69.

-sap out