I TURNED A STICK INTO AN ASP

How old school am I, bitches!!! I was trying to do the whole "part the red sea" thing ... starting small of course. Basically, I was trying to part my tub ... anyway, I accidently focused all my energies and uber cult leader powers in what was clearly the wrong direction 'cause the handle of my plunger started vibrating like a mofo and the next thing I knew ... ASP CITY! Never quite parted the tub but I did get a friggin asp out of the deal. I'm young, I admit it. I'm new to this cult leader thing. An asp is a good fuckin' start if you ask me.

-THESAP OUT
THESAPKAC ... The Only Cult That Matters

PS - Does anyone know where I can get some mammon?